It all seems much more real now. We were nervous for the first treatment - 'what will this be like?', 'how sick will I be?' - but now I seem to have settled into low level dread. At this point, I am writing off the rest of this week. Except for some knitting projects and a novel or two, I don't expect to have much oomph until after the weekend. And I am trying to get excited about toast. (Toast! Toast! Of foods you're the duke. The more you eat the less you...)
My hair has started coming out in clumps. There is quite a pile in front of my sink in our bathroom, and I've already blocked the bathtub drain. For all you men worried about balding, I have vast new reservoirs of empathy. Though, I must admit, the purple sheen on the pile still makes me laugh. I am just hoping by some miracle to keep my eyebrows.
Dr. S left a coil of tubing hooked into my port after the surgery, which should come out today. I am hoping that once it is gone it will stop hurting, and the feeling will come back into my left hand. (My pointer finger and thumb feel as if they are asleep all the time.) Since I have taken to knitting as my de-stressing activity (active meditation?), I could use the sensitivity back. It will be nice not to have any more needle sticks, though.
We are really hoping Dr. B sees a difference in the size of the tumor at the appointment today. It would be much easier to do this if we knew the chemo works.
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5 comments:
I'd give you my hair, but....
From the safety of our own homes, away from the view of others to experience reading your diaries- laughing, crying..... it has been incredibly gracious of you both to allow us to not only witness but participate in this journey with you-- the good, the bad, the reality of cancer... thank you for this immense gift.
As the Duchess of Doggerel, you have achieved a new high...or is it low? I stand in awe!
IL Mom
I'm really sorry to hear all this. I guess this was to be expected, but that does not make it any less horrible an experience. We all have faith, however, that you will make it through this and whatever else may come. Sheila and I and your nieces send our love and support to you both.
Thinking of you, and hoping that you got good news today.
I admire your strenght, Lynn.
Hug,
Berit
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